So if you couldn't already tell this blog has a lot to do with being fat and losing weight. It is not intended to be negative, but a realistic journey for a very fat gay man. Not only will this deal with my journey of becoming the man that I am meant to be but also will deal with the inner workings of my mind. You have been warned!!! So let's dive right in shall we?!
As I sit here watching American Masters -Carol Burnett, I can't help but let my mind wander to different things. I have been pretty depressed and scared lately about being alone and dealing with what that means. I have gone a bit cra-cra!! After seeing Glee live and talking to a my mom and a wonderful person that is always there for me I began to realize that I need to get back to me. I miss singing and acting and being on stage. It's crazy but I am at home on stage. I am hoping by getting back to my craft will allow me to work through my emotions in a more constructive way. I need an outlet of some sort. Perhaps this will help. There are many songs that speak to me and one right now that is constantly in my head is "If It Kills Me" by Jason Mraz. Right now I really want to ask someone to hold my heart in their hand but I am not so bold. I just hope that making myself better will show this person the amazing person that I once was and will be again. I'm getting older and really would like to start a family soon and want it to be with someone who inspires me, someone who gives me something to sing about. Please give me something to sing about! Maybe this person will take a chance on me but maybe they won't. It all remains to be seen. I just want a Bad Romance! These posts kill me!! I don't know what to do here!?!? This double life I lead isn't healthy for me, in fact it makes nervous. If I get caught I could be risking it all. Tell me you know, yeah you figured me out. Something gave me away.
On a lighter note, I have entered a Get Fit Challenge at my gym and first prize is $10,000!! Wish me luck! This starts next week for 12 weeks so it will be interesting to see what I can accomplish.
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